Seasons and Transitions
It is a relatively
mild manifestation of the condition but
the impact on my life has been pronounced mostly by the underlying anxiety that
drives the condition. In my 40s I finally
came to grips with it and began taking Zoloft and very fortunately responded
well. The medication dampens the anxiety, checking behavior and other behaviors
I manifest.
In addition I also have benign
paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vertigo/
an inner ear condition that results in nonsense vestibular input. I am not sure what makes me more odd- the OCD
or the BPPV. I think the conditions are synchronicity and related to a bad
concussion as a kid. The BPPV symptoms for me are strongly linked the changes
in the weather and how tired I am. If
anyone reading this can relate, I feel like I am experiencing first trimester pregnancy
symptoms-kind of yuck, tired and brain flat making it difficult to be motivated
and think logically. I won’t expand on
the dyslexia, menopause and other contributing factors. The point is that the transition from winter
to spring is fertile ground for a super storm of combined effect. All I want to do is wander around my little
yard, watch what is growing and changing and dig in the dirt. It is cool outside and there are no mosquitoes. I live in Michigan near a lake and watershed
march and the bugs are swarms. However
there is a sweet time of peace before the actual riot of spring breaks
loose. That transition time ended happened
last week. At the same time the white rabbit that had been in my yard and
un-catchable all fall and winter just hopped in the house when I opened the door
on a cold wet rainy morning all wet and miserable looking. He shook himself and I could imagine him
saying” OK, I proved I can live outside and take care of myself but enough
already. You fed me all winter and were
loyal so I can trust you. You can take care of me now.” So a re purposed ferret cage by some big windows
and he is a happy bunny. He loves his
morning massage and would let me glide and knead on him for hours if I would. As an added bonus bunny poo is a great
addition to the compost bin. What a concept- valuable crap. 
I still have a few things
I want to do in the yard but when I am out there it is unpleasant- mosquitoes
in swarms. I can still get things accomplished
but not in the leisurely pleasant uninterrupted way of 10 days ago. Instead I
am flailing around with one arm while trying to dig and plant with the other. I had a bug in my mouth today and one in my
ear yesterday.
It is good that the
seasons evolve otherwise I would never get anything done. I finally dusted a bit in the house yesterday
and made an appearance on Facebook. I
went to the Massage Therapy Research Foundation conference in Boston and now
think my brain is working enough to really process the events that occurred during
this gathering.
Other transitions are occurring as the seasons change. Many of you are aware that for many years I
have worked with professional athletes -some for a season and some for their
entire professional career. The client I have worked with the longest- almost
17 years is NFL quarterback Charlie Batch. http://www.charliebatch.com/ He was
barely 21 years old when he was playing as a rookie starter with hall of fame
running back Barry Sanders. This year, at 38 years old, he gave a talked at a college
where Barry Sanders oldest son was a freshman. That puts the length of his
career in perspective. The new class of
rookies this year were in kindergarten when Charlie began his professional NFL
career. He can still play football at
close to 40 years old and I can still do massage at almost 60 years old,
however, this time in both of our lives feels like a transition time preparing
for the next season to burst forth.
Charlie has a story to tell, I have a story to tell and we have a story
together to tell about pain and triumph, loss and disappointment, loyalty and
relationship wrapped up in hundreds of hours of massage therapy.
The massage therapy community is also at a critical
transition point. Are we going to burst
forth in a beautiful spring and grow into a productive summer and fall harvest
or are we going to continue to struggle unable to thrive? The opportunity of
transition between the seasons is short and precious. Unfortunately, I think
the massage leaders are on track to miss this time of fertility and we are
going to end up again in swarms of bugs. I so hope I am wrong. In the
meantime I thankful for spring as it bursts forth. I know that there will be terrible
storms with resulting loss and a time of grieving however, just like the devastation of the Oklahoma
tornado of yesterday, the renewal begins today and we can look forward to the
productivity of summer growing, reproducing and preparing for the harvest of
fall. 
