Seasons and Transitions
I have been quiet on the blog for a while. A major reason is my annual spring fever event. The affects begin just as the weather begins to transition from winter to spring. I begin to visualize what will and can be in my garden. I have OCD-obsessive compulsive disorder. .http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001926/
It is a relatively mild manifestation of the condition but the impact on my life has been pronounced mostly by the underlying anxiety that drives the condition. In my 40s I finally came to grips with it and began taking Zoloft and very fortunately responded well. The medication dampens the anxiety, checking behavior and other behaviors I manifest.
In addition I also have benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV) http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vertigo/ an inner ear condition that results in nonsense vestibular input. I am not sure what makes me more odd- the OCD or the BPPV. I think the conditions are synchronicity and related to a bad concussion as a kid. The BPPV symptoms for me are strongly linked the changes in the weather and how tired I am. If anyone reading this can relate, I feel like I am experiencing first trimester pregnancy symptoms-kind of yuck, tired and brain flat making it difficult to be motivated and think logically. I won’t expand on the dyslexia, menopause and other contributing factors. The point is that the transition from winter to spring is fertile ground for a super storm of combined effect. All I want to do is wander around my little yard, watch what is growing and changing and dig in the dirt. It is cool outside and there are no mosquitoes. I live in Michigan near a lake and watershed march and the bugs are swarms. However there is a sweet time of peace before the actual riot of spring breaks loose. That transition time ended happened last week. At the same time the white rabbit that had been in my yard and un-catchable all fall and winter just hopped in the house when I opened the door on a cold wet rainy morning all wet and miserable looking. He shook himself and I could imagine him saying” OK, I proved I can live outside and take care of myself but enough already. You fed me all winter and were loyal so I can trust you. You can take care of me now.” So a re purposed ferret cage by some big windows and he is a happy bunny. He loves his morning massage and would let me glide and knead on him for hours if I would. As an added bonus bunny poo is a great addition to the compost bin. What a concept- valuable crap.
I still have a few things I want to do in the yard but when I am out there it is unpleasant- mosquitoes in swarms. I can still get things accomplished but not in the leisurely pleasant uninterrupted way of 10 days ago. Instead I am flailing around with one arm while trying to dig and plant with the other. I had a bug in my mouth today and one in my ear yesterday.
It is good that the seasons evolve otherwise I would never get anything done. I finally dusted a bit in the house yesterday and made an appearance on Facebook. I went to the Massage Therapy Research Foundation conference in Boston and now think my brain is working enough to really process the events that occurred during this gathering.
Other transitions are occurring as the seasons change. Many of you are aware that for many years I have worked with professional athletes -some for a season and some for their entire professional career. The client I have worked with the longest- almost 17 years is NFL quarterback Charlie Batch. http://www.charliebatch.com/ He was barely 21 years old when he was playing as a rookie starter with hall of fame running back Barry Sanders. This year, at 38 years old, he gave a talked at a college where Barry Sanders oldest son was a freshman. That puts the length of his career in perspective. The new class of rookies this year were in kindergarten when Charlie began his professional NFL career. He can still play football at close to 40 years old and I can still do massage at almost 60 years old, however, this time in both of our lives feels like a transition time preparing for the next season to burst forth. Charlie has a story to tell, I have a story to tell and we have a story together to tell about pain and triumph, loss and disappointment, loyalty and relationship wrapped up in hundreds of hours of massage therapy.
The massage therapy community is also at a critical transition point. Are we going to burst forth in a beautiful spring and grow into a productive summer and fall harvest or are we going to continue to struggle unable to thrive? The opportunity of transition between the seasons is short and precious. Unfortunately, I think the massage leaders are on track to miss this time of fertility and we are going to end up again in swarms of bugs. I so hope I am wrong. In the meantime I thankful for spring as it bursts forth. I know that there will be terrible storms with resulting loss and a time of grieving however, just like the devastation of the Oklahoma tornado of yesterday, the renewal begins today and we can look forward to the productivity of summer growing, reproducing and preparing for the harvest of fall.